it's a pen.

six minute project

Thu, 22 Jun 2006 07:45:37 GMT

so, over 50,000 people in more than 100 different countries have viewed the six minute project. Hundreds of blogs have posted about it. But other than a few people I know, and one random girl in Minneapolis, nobody is actually doing the project. It's so frustrating to read literally hundreds of comments and blogs all over the world talking about how cool the project is, and how someone is "totally going to do it" because nobody is actually doing the project. Some girl on flickr did the project in Germany, but never sent it in.

For every excited post I've read, I've read an excuse for why someone wouldn't do the project. "I'm going to wait until I have an exciting day." or "My life is boring." - These people don't get the point of the project. Even if you do the six minute project on a boring day, it's interesting. AND, if you really want to do the project, but are waiting for an exciting day - stop waiting, just do something exciting.

If anyone still reads this, and wants to know what all the hubub is about. Here's a link. six minute project.

Julia

Mon, 02 Jan 2006 11:46:48 GMT

"My entire department is out the door by five. I linger till six-thirty, reading the papers, killing time. Just to punish myself I decide not to take the subway. Instead I head out into the thrust and teem of the concrete carnival. The city is simultaneously emptying and refilling. All of us who live and work here are going to meet our relatives in the suburbs. All the bored families in the suburbs who haven't sent their children to live in the city think, Let's go into town to look at a big-ass dead pine tree propped up in Rock Center.

I head for Port Authority on foot in the cold, in the dark. I've got a lot, but I don't have Forty-eighth and Eighth. I walk by it shivering and stand there for a minute. I can't get into the parking lot. It's closed. There's a blue painted scaffold around it. A sign says it's about ot be torn down to make way for an apartment building.

My scarf is in my pocket. I leave it there. My gloves are at home. Right by the spot where I waited for her that time, there's a poster for a movie that quotes a witticism I came up with a few weeks ago. I wrote it to impress her.

The things I can't tell her. More than the times we undressed each other, more than the times we snacked and snorfled and slobbered on each other, more than the time in the park when I told her how I felt and she cried to hear it, more than the one and only time I slept with her in my arms, I remember Forty-eighth and Eighth. In the multiplex of my mind, it's always playing on one screen, in an endless loop. She is tiptoeing up behind me on an unfairly cold March night, in a little yellow coat much too thin for the weather.

Because she wants to be with me."

It's raining. I just finished my book. Tangible representations of 'high school' are heaped into bags and boxes in the center of my room, threatening to avalanche. Stuff that used to mean something. I'm beginning to remember bits and pieces of our summer. The last time I was in this room listening to the rain, I was holding her. She was crying. Funny how little I remember that was positive. I haven't had sex in twenty-one days. I should write more. Tara makes me incredibly happy. I miss her.

The first night, and only night in memory, that I was happy with Laura was at the Convention Center. The fountain on Front and J. There was construction tape around it. She pushed me in. I pulled her in after me. That moment, when there's nobody else in the world. Just, you and her. And infinite possibility. It's pure. It's christmas through a soft focus lens. It's hard to separate the good parts from the bad. It's hard to figure out what that whole mess was. We were just in the same place at the same time, going parallel for a while.

Dylan say: Louise, she's alright, she's just near.

"She is tiptoeing up behind me on an unfairly cold March night, in a little yellow coat much too thin for the weather.

Because she wants to be with me."

Funny how things change.

Paul say: I was twenty-one years when I wrote this song. / I'm twenty-two now but I won't be for long / Time hurries on.

Dylan say: We sit here stranded, though we're all doin' our best to deny it

Wed, 07 Dec 2005 10:22:44 GMT

honesty breeds confidence; be honest in everything that you do.

this is a secret.

Sun, 10 Jul 2005 09:47:26 GMT

something in your smile makes me feel like I might still be capable of love.

do yourself a favor

Wed, 29 Jun 2005 07:42:01 GMT

so, if you're in San Diego... and you're a fan of the lord of the rings...

you really need to go see this musical.
http://www.wizardnews.com/story.20050602.html

A friend who works with one of my improv troupes up in LA helped write and stars in this full length musical spoof of the first book in the LOTR trilogy. When I saw it, it was only $10, and well worth it. I think ticket price to see it at the lyceum is $25, but it's WELL worth it.

It's quasi-improvised, so the actors have a lot of fun with the audience.

Let's put it this way. It's good enough that I think it's worth my time to make a live journal entry telling you about it.

Also, if you're in san diego for fourth of july, let me know.

black tea. paper due. fuck me. fuck you.

Tue, 08 Mar 2005 11:23:09 GMT

maybe if I didn't have to sleep
maybe then I could have time for it all

Mon, 14 Feb 2005 10:07:27 GMT

I'm sitting on a train. Halfway between Los Angeles and San Diego. I don't know where I'm going.

My seat has no view. I decide to move.

My new seat allows me to see outside. The clouds are grey and heavy with rain, which weeps across the asphalt which glistens. On my right a boy in the back of a beige Camry presses his hand against the window and looks up at me. I smile. He waves.

We press on to an area where the rolling hills are the only view to my right. The sea tumbles on my left. Simon and Garfunkel come on my iPod wishing they were homeward bound. I do too.

Gwen calls, and as we talk the train passes several rivers that are muddy but pour into the ocean. We are disconnected. She calls back.

The train stops in oceanside. Two kids race dirt bikes across a patch of muddy field. I close my eyes and imagine the girl who disappeared. I saw her a couple times freshman year. We didn't have any classes together or anything, I just saw her at the campus coffee shop, and across the quad. We didn't talk, just looked into each others eyes. I saw her once at a film review and she smiled and started to walk towards me - another girl, put her arm around her and whisked her out the door and into the lobby. Her gaze never broke with mine, and her lips separated as if she wanted to say something, but she was on the other side of the door before I could make out any words. I never saw her again. Every now and then I wonder if she's out there, sometimes I try to find out who she was. It's stupid, I know.

The train starts up again. The rain thickens and beats across the window as the train glides quietly along the coast. Dylan comes on my iPod as we pull into Solana beach. "She walked up to me so gracefully and took my crown of thorns, Come in she said, I'll give you shelter from the storm." A pretty girl walks past me on her way off the train.

We stop for five minutes. "Smoke break" the captain says, "but if you're gonna do it stay at least twenty feet away from the doors. At the Solana beach station huge cement retaining walls block my view of anything else. Though the concrete is the same color, I prefer the clouds.

I realize I'm hungry and walk across several cars and then downstairs to the train cafe. The food is unappealing, but I've forgotten my wallet back at my seat anyway.

A girl across the isle from me is asleep. "Cathy, I'm lost" I tell her.

----

I spend most of the train ride back filled with possibility, and reading Twyla Tharp's book. A girl rushes on seconds before the doors close, and sits in front of me. She has longish mousy brown hair that I want to run my fingers through.

I continue to read. She leans her chair back and it bumps my leg, she apologizes, I tell her there is no need. Outside everything is bright and clear. I sit on the ocean facing side this time, and make sure to get a window seat.

The view is breathtaking. It is mid afternoon, and the sun is a few hours from setting. Its still overcast, though the sun pokes through often, causing its rays to shine down across the expansive horizon. About an hour up the coast there is a sail boat race, each boat has its own colorful sail.

Another girl barely makes it onto the train, as the doors slide shut she yells "Alright Fine! I love you!" and storms into the compartment across from the earlier, prettier girl.

I compare them.

The first is confident, sure of herself. The second is annoying. She chews gum loudly and stands with her knees on the seat so she can look out the window. Her thong underwear peers out at me from the band of skin between her low cut jeans and her shirt. I do not like it. The other girl, who I decide is older, spends most of the time whispering into her phone. She radiates a sense of self and has bright red shoes that I like.

The train stops and the younger girl nominates me the authority on trains, and why they stop. I explain to her that I don't know. She asks what I'm doing on a train. "Going home," I reply, "to L.A." She stares at me blankly. "I go to school there," I explain. Between gum chews, she asks how old I am. She doesn't understand why I am taking the train to school. "Nineteen," I tell her, "how about you?"
"I'm seventeen" she says, unproudly. We engage in brief conversation and I learn she visits her dad by train. She asks for a smoke, which I don't have.

About half an hour from Los Angeles the older girl gets of the phone and begins to apply make up. Between her leaned back seat, and the upright one next to her, there is a narrow crack through which I watch her. She is precise and deft in her movements, applying first one brush, then another, lipstick, eye shadow. She tames her hair with one swift twist, and places it in a bun. I immediately want her to take it down. She puts on a sweater and sprays something on herself that makes her smell like magic. I like it. I wonder who she's getting pretty for.

We pull into Union Station as the sky turns grey, the sun setting behind the L.A. smog. Concrete is all around me now. Industrial warehouses, dumps, huge lots full of collected and archived wreckage.

I decide to take the train next time instead of driving.

some really amazing stuff happened, I met some people. like the director of this film called the Journey (www.thejourneyfilm.com)

cathy?

Fri, 28 Jan 2005 08:20:22 GMT

i'm wasting away here.

I feel so unfulfilled in some of the creative situations I've gotten myself into. I feel like my peers are forcing creative mediocrity down my throats like that bullshit gruel from the matrix.

it's funny how when you leave high school you're excited about meeting new people, who haven't seen you awkwardly develop over middle school and high school - - but then you find out that you just happen to be the person you are, and you can't run away from it.

ugh.
it's like staying with a girlfriend who you don't get along with, except now not even the sex is good.

your work is good if your partner enjoys playing with you.

Sun, 23 Jan 2005 01:16:44 GMT

http://www.joeytomatoes.com/muppetsovertime05.htm

cathy I'm lost, I said, though I knew she was sleeping

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 10:16:07 GMT

I self-reflexively scoff at what is about to be the most typical live journal post EVER:

so I'm moved into my new apartment. classes start tomorrow. I have a bunch of work to do for SDJFF, I am involved with three comedy troupes, 2 improv, 1 sketch - between the three I have 9 hours of practice per week. I will also be working 10 hours a week this semester at Thornton doing graphic design, and the same old free lance stuff as always. So - lots of work. However, I feel extremely productive, and ready to take on whatever comes my way.

This new apartment is amazing. I'm living with friends, which is a new experience for me, and it's the first time since I've left home home, that I've actually felt at home - which is a great feeling. Just overall really excited about everything that awaits me this semester.

I'm listening to a binge of Simon and Garfunkel right now, started by looking up covers of my favorite song (not just of theirs, but likely my favorite song of all time) "America" - I just remembered one of the first times I spent the night with Laura, and afterwards I felt this wave of emotion and excitement, and I posted the lyrics to "Wednesday Morning, 3AM" on LJ - which is mostly a positive song, about spending the night with someone you love and hating that you have to leave in the morning - anyway, laura freaks out cause she thinks I don't like her and blah blah blah - shows you how perfect we were for each other - and how well she knew me... hah. seriously though, best of luck with the whole marriage thing.

ah, life. it cracks me up.

Well, I'm on my way. I don't know where I'm going. I'm on my way, I'm taking my time and I don't know where.

but that's a-okay by me.

----
if you're in LA with me: call me up. come over. let's play scrabble, or make dinner, or watch a movie. If you're not in LA with me, come visit, I miss you.

new years plans

Fri, 31 Dec 2004 05:31:04 GMT

well... I was originally planning on being in LA for new years, but I have too much work to do.

so... New Year's Plans in San Diego?
anyone?

invitations welcome.

A plea.

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 03:56:59 GMT

so, if one more person signs up under me, I get a free ipod.

it's that simple.

here's the link to get your free ipod:
http://www.freeiPods.com/?r=8771690

It's legit. If you have questions, I'll explain it to you, just ask.
or you can read either of these articles, which sum it up also:

New York Times:
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/26/business/yourmoney/26free.html?oref=login

Wired.com
http://www.wired.com/news/mac/0,2125,64614,00.html

There's a similar deal for a free flat screen tv/dvd/vhs player combo:
http://www.FreeFlatScreens.com/?r=8958084

oh grumpy time

Wed, 15 Dec 2004 10:18:51 GMT

of the several things I do not think i can deal with for one more minute, one of them will be ending soon:

my living situation.

however, I can't move out for another 24 hours or so, which is approximately 1439 minutes longer than I think I'll be able to take it.

something happy from me in the near future? we'll see. I think all things considered I've been pretty happy this semester, but regardless of what achievements exist, if you don't feel comfortable where you live, if you have no place to call a home, everything is lessened some how.

dispite everything

Wed, 01 Dec 2004 07:59:37 GMT

so many good things have happened to me recently.

sketch comedy is going very well. a lot of talent within that group. I fought the law, and I won. pled my own case, and had all charges against me dropped. I'm moving out of this damned apartment. I was given $1500 by a relative 'for my education' (and am shopping around for an ibook).

and yet

something is missing. i feel isolated. stuck.

staring at a blinking cursor and attempting to articulate the vague inner workings of my head right now is not what I'm about.

I'm about sleep. all about sleep. (maybe I'm feeling crappy because I'm working on two nights of less than 4 hours sleep in a row.)

understandably, there is still much work to be done.

Thu, 18 Nov 2004 10:00:43 GMT

but for now, my feelings are thusly:

couple quick things I hope I get back to

Tue, 16 Nov 2004 08:13:02 GMT

i feel wonderful
1. did pretty good with the plane rides
2. 5 star hotel with amazing pool on miami beach
3. gwen!
4. gwen! (and friends and wonderfulness)
5. family time, and time away from my living situation - good shit.
6. sketch troupe starts this week!
7. party last saturday, so great!
8. just saw rashomon... didn't really like it. - - I always feel like I'm stupid or something when I don't like movies that my intellectual friends are nuts about. oh well.

stomach hurts though, too much ab work in yoga today. but, nonetheless, wonderfulness abides, and further explanation is hopefully around the corner.

(also pretty much figured out what I'm going to be doing here at USC. if I get into the film program, it's going to be a major in film, with a triple minor in art history, graphic design, and creative writing)

"All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure." - Mark Twain

Fri, 05 Nov 2004 21:34:49 GMT

Senator Kerry, Senator Edwards, and your incredible families;

A Sincere Thank You to you for your valiant efforts. There were many moments
in this campaign when you all made us proud to be American.

However, the healing process will not be happening from me for a while. When
it seems that the majority voted on a prime issue of "moral values", and
voted 79% to 18% for Pres. Bush over you on this issue, I smell something
rotten.

This is a bald-faced push by the evangelical christian churches in this
country to impose their morals on the rest of us.

This will not stand- for me at least.

When a majority of people in the U.S. do not believe in evolution, a clear
scientific fact, and more than 45% of the people in the U.S believe that the
world was created less than 10,000 yrs. ago, it seems clear to me, that
someone, some cabal, some radical fundamentalist movement, is subverting
America's intellect. And the current administration took supreme advantage
if this.

This radical fundamentalist poison is as dangerous for America as the
radical fundamentalist muslims who create terror. Only instead of terror,
these "christians" are creating darkness.

The evangelical churches in this country were quietly getting out their
vote, from the pulpit, while so many of my friends were working hard for you
and us. This is the same pulpit which excoriates the gay community, stem
cell research, and a woman's right to choose; the same community which tells
its youth that abstinence is the only way to prevent pregnancy. (A case in
point is the new textbook in Texas, which does not teach contraception,
which makes no difference between unprotected and protected sex.) And of
course the same community which, perhaps most incredible of all, that
"creation" was only a few thousand years ago. Educare is the latin verb,
meaning to lead out of (the dark). With this recent majority, America is
being led back INTO the dark.

Does it sound like I'm angry. You bet I am! I will not forget; I will not
heal; I will not rest, until this country learns to be more tolerant of
others, until these issues are brought back out into the public debate, and
ignorance is expunged.

Please pass this message to your colleagues in the Senate. Please pass it on
to anyone who will listen. I believe America's future depends on it.

Sincerely,

David Reed

and my thoughts on the election:

The problem to me is also the way our elections are held and called. For example, as of today there are 60,000 absentee votes that have not been counted in Iowa (where bush is only ahead by 13,000), and 1.6 million in Florida (where bush is ahead by 400K). Even though this probably wouldn't change anything, we need to get our country out of the mindset of hearing the election called, and concessions announced on the same day as voting. There's no way you can count ballots that fast. Chances are, this could swing things for Kerry because especially in swing states like Iowa and Florida, groups like Moveon.org encouraged Dems to use absentee ballots so that they wouldn't be stopped from voting - AND, record numbers of democrats used absentee ballots this year. (
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A55598-2004Oct22.html
).

In Ohio there are stories coming in by the hour about voting machines that deleted thousands of votes, for which there are no record. (The conspiracy buffs note here that the machines used in Ohio were supplied by Diebold, whose CEO said he was "committed to helping Ohio deliver its electoral votes to the president"(
http://www.commondreams.org/headlines03/0828-08.htm
)). One wonders why Ohio and other states who use electronic ballots don't require any paper trail. In fact, of the 50 states only one (Nevada) requires a mandatory paper trail for its electronic voting machines. (
http://sos.state.nv.us/press/030904.htm
)

As a country, we have to get out of this mindset. We like our food fast, and our election results faster. Although New Mexico's Secretary of State has declared the states election results still too close to call, the major networks have already called New Mexico for Bush. Kerry Conceded and Bush declared victory before at least two million votes were cast.

The thing is that this election is still too close to call. And in a country so ignorant that we do not demand our votes are counted, who's really surprised? Not me, I'm just disappointed. I remember when all the votes were finally counted and Gore won the 2000 election (
http://www.americanpolitics.com/2001gore.html
). Nothing changed. Bush didn't step down, Congress didn't protest, and America watched a new reality show instead of watching reality.

"Nothing in all the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance, and conscientious stupidity." - Martin Luther King, Jr.

Wes Clark gives me a hard-on

Tue, 02 Nov 2004 05:17:12 GMT

just saw General Wes Clark speak and answer questions for 2 hours in Bovard Auditorium. One of the most amazing speakers I've ever seen, intelligent, funny, charismatic. He'll make an amazing addition to the Kerry Cabinet.

on the subject of the Kerry cabinet... I wish it was possible to describe the feeling of anxiety/excitement I'm feeling about this election. Clark was talking about how this election is so important because by re-electing Bush, we will effectively be sealing the stance of America, and that the strategies and thinking of America are not yet set in stone. As one of his European friends said to him, "we know you didn't elect bush, we forgive you; but if you elect him again..."

I'm very hopeful that Kerry will win this election, maybe even by a huge margin. But the thought of Bush stealing/winning it is so terrifying, that I don't want to get my hopes up. It was amazing tonight to see people brimming with hope and optimism; to lose now would be unimaginable - and every time I heard someone say something hopeful I would just imagine their comments being forgotten days after Bush steals the second election - or worse, America is willfully ignorant enough to vote him into office.

Mon, 01 Nov 2004 05:55:35 GMT

I'm a halloween drop out. I carved a sketchy looking pumpkin (jack skellington). and went out last night as "hug boy" the amazing boy wonder who hugs people when they ask him what his costume is.

earlier tonight I went to starbucks to get a doubleshot espresso. and a big black woman working the counter asked why I wasn't dressed up for halloween. I explained to her that I had a midterm the next morning, and then added that I thought it was messed up for my professor to schedule a midterm the morning after halloween. her response was "OKAY!" And, I didn't really get what she meant. So then I said that maybe when he was a child he hated halloween and he's punishing our class in turn. Her response this time was "OKAY! what an asshole!" And I realized that "OKAY!" meant "yes, I agree" and then it was like we understood each other.

Wed, 27 Oct 2004 19:43:19 GMT

I talked to my dad earlier. my family is amazing. they all call every once in a while just to say hi. the conversation turned a bit to my aunt, and my dad said something about how I might not ever see her alive again. and I started thinking about how fucked up cancer is. my dad said if he ever gets cancer, he's not going to do radiation because of how he's seen it effect his twin; i guess really he was always planning on not doing radiation because it makes people weak. I guess I just started thinking about my parents, and that eventually they're going to get cancer or grow old or have other bad adult stuff happen to them. and it made me start thinking about how people with downsyndrome have shorter life spans than "normal" people, and that my parents are probably going to outlive alicia, and how horrible that is for them, and then I thought about how eventually it's probably just going to be evan and I.

I realize this is just another sign of weakness, but this is one of those times I really wish I had a girlfriend. I realize there's solice in other people, but sometimes I just really want that anchor.

so it goes.

iPod. uPod. wePod.

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 18:59:24 GMT

Okay all you disbelievers: here is dave's ipod. he just got it.

What? You wanna get one, too?

DO THIS. It's legit marketing shit to get you a free iPod. If you dont believe DAVE'S PHOTOGRAPHS, check this or this. For clearer details, read on.

Caution: You've gotta live in the US and make sure to use IE, otherwise it's liable to screw up. (If you use Firefox, just use IE this once.) You can use a backup email if you wanna avoid spam, but G-Mail catches it all, anyway. One freeipod.com account per household.

Process: Sign up here, making sure to uncheck the box that requests for spam. Ignore the survey that follows -- just check your mail (spam) and VERIFY. Now you'll have the option to notify friends and complete your free trial -- so do the trial. The options are changed throughout the day -- Infone is the best, but if that's not there, do Ancestry.com. Get five friends to do the same. Verify your shit and wait 40 days.

the same company has a free flat screen tv deal: http://www.FreeFlatScreens.com/default.aspx?referer=8958084

COME ON GUYS let's take advantage of this!

one of the most amazing things I've ever witnessed

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 23:01:09 GMT

I'm watching jon stewart on crossfire right now - i downloaded a clip. if you ever wanted to see stewart take off his gloves, kick some ass, and get partisan -

e-mail me, IM me, whatever, and I'll send you the clip

cool.

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 22:45:54 GMT

it rained last night! hooray for rain!

also - this is amazing: http://www.popandco.com/archive/moab/

maybe not amazing, but cool anyway, what IS amazing is the clip of jon stewart kicking ass on crossfire that I am watching.

just a little heads up

Thu, 14 Oct 2004 05:33:23 GMT

I am amazed.

I went to work today and my boss asked me if I wanted to VIP tickets to the first screening of "Ray" starring Jamie Foxx. I went. It was amazing. I'm telling you guys right now that it will be nominated for Best Picture and for Best Actor. It comes out October 29th. SEE IT. Afterwards there was a Q & A with USC Alumni Taylor Hackford, the director, and LeVar Burton, the token black alumni.

I'm really too amazed to even articulate the experience of seeing this movie. But I wanted to put it out there: I saw it, it's amazing. You heard it from me first.

i had forgotten about this, until I put my ipod on shuffle - from 2001 def poetry jam

Sun, 10 Oct 2004 19:49:21 GMT

A-yo, why is it so uncool to smile?
Since when did it become hip hop’s taboo?
‘Cause I would be smiling all the time
if I made even half of the money you do.
Frowning like you just caught a face full of sun --
How I miss the days when hip hop was fun,
when DJ Quik first burst on the scene,
when Boyz N The Hood was on the big screen,
when Tupac Shakur was a dancer for Humpty,
when Nasty Nas five-mic’d in the monthly,
when MC Breed painted the White House black,
when Too Short retired and then came back,
when Wyclef Jean asked out Mona Lisa --
that’s the era this poem will feature.

I want to go to a show and not have to front.
I’ll fisticuff but I’d rather you pass the blunt.
Let’s just chill and enjoy the diversity.
Let’s get lost in the rhythm’s uncertainty.
It doesn’t make you less hardcore
if you shake your ass on the fuckin’ dance floor,
but somewhere along this road we made rules,
and smiling became the weakness of a fool,
and silence and anger became the norm,
and that’s when the party began to lose form.
I reminisce about the glory that’s gone,
when happiness wasn’t looked down upon,
when EPMD crissed over with the Crossover,
when Tim Hardaway still had his toss over.
I used to go to the store and buy classics.
Now I go to the store and shit’s plastic.
I can’t tell it. I’m thieving for skill,
‘cause y’all might be dope, but I don’t see your will.
All I see is suckers pretending they’re ill.

I can’t relate to this lack of humanity.
Music’s as invulnerable as insanity.
I remember when Fife was a sidekick,
when gangsta rap was still on the rise, kid,
when De La Soul was reincarnated,
when Freestyle Fellowship first circulated,
when Run-DMC wore Adidas sneakers --
that’s the era this poem will feature.

From ’86 to ‘95,
when hip hop was just too thick to describe.
I strived to become it in every way,
so I practiced religiously every day.
On the bus ride home folks thought I was schizo.
In eighth grade I wore more rayon than Sisqo.
Housin’ was in and Mista Barbarena
coulda caughta misdameana
if he finked on his friends.
See, we would rap until we were bored,
with no cash advance or Grammy award.
My Boys’ Club trophies cluttered my shelf.
We’d no other reason but reason itself.

So why is it so uncool to smile?
Since when did it become hip hop’s taboo?
‘Cause I would be smiling all the time
if I made even half of the money you do.
Frowning like you just caught a face full of sun --
How I miss the days when hip hop was fun,
how I miss the days when hip hop was fun,
how I miss the days when hip hop was one.